You'll have to bear with me, because I absolutely love quotes and cartoons! Growing up, they covered my walls and doors. I know I use them a lot, but they serve a great purpose in my learning and living the gospel better.
Yep, parenting is hard. Some days, you feel like you have angels, and some days, little gremlins(and I'm so afraid of gremlins...shhh).
Parenting can be an absolute grind. It can be all that we thought it WASN'T and more.
But I CANNOT deny that being a mother has taught me so much about myself, my divine nature, and Heavenly Father's plan for His children.
In 2005, President Hinckley presented “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”
In the proclamation, it states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
This is a wonderful thing to talk about, nurturing. When I think of nurturing, I think of love, of kindness... there's even a great scripture for it: “By persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness” (D&C 121:41–42).
How does nurturing feel? What does nurturing look like? How does nurturing sound?
How Nurturing Feels
I think that nurturing feels like belonging to a family, feeling visible to those you know that care for you, being comfortable in your surroundings.
I feel like some of the best nurturing feelings come when I pray with each of my kids individually at night. After we pray, they look at me differently; maybe with a little bit more gratitude and love? It's a good feeling, one of mutual love and respect for one another.
We can feel nurturing in our families when we spend time together, whether it is in family home evening, scripture study, family prayer, or activities we plan together. As long as it is a good SOMETHING that we are doing together as a family, we are being nurtured.
I often feel during vacations like family reunions, spring break, or camping, that I need a vacation from my vacation. It takes so much time, planning, packing, preparing meals, getting all different kinds of clothes packed, etc. And then there's cleaning the car out, unpacking, tired and cranky kids(and husband), and loads and loads of laundry upon arrival back at home. It is hard to remember that although it's hard to do things together sometimes, that I need to feel thankful that we are together, connecting, making memories.
How Nurturing Sounds
Nurturing in my home sounds like laughter watching funny shows together or playing games, it can be the words of a prayer being spoken for a loved one, and it can even be the sound of silence. I don't think that I'm the only one that thinks that people don't listen enough to others in these latter-days. If we were to ask more questions of others, and then just listen, the silence of our mouths can be the nurturing sounds that we just might learn the most from.
How Nurturing Looks
Nurturing can look like a soft touch, a congratulatory high-five, and even a gentle reprimand.
A couple of weeks ago, I took my daughter to the mall to look around for some sneakers. While we were there, there was a mother with two very energetic young children. They laughed and poked at each other, and the mother would turn and start yelling, "Will you stop it! I hate taking you 2 anywhere with me! All you do is make me mad, and I don't get to look at anything! Stand there and shut up!" This is the cleaned up, non-expletive version of her exclamations. We were shocked, appalled, and saddened at the treatment of these children. How did this make those children feel? How will these children grow up thinking parenting should be like? This is NOT how nurturing looks.
I'm not the greatest example. We've tried the, "Go to your room and don't come out until you are ready to apologize!" approach. It doesn't have the best results. But, I do think that I have been learning a more gentle approach. I am still learning how each of my children learns best. But for my youngest daughter, it is on my knees, at her level, gently holding her hands, speaking softly, explaining how she has been amazing that day, or how we can improve on the current situation.
Even though my nurturing doesn't always turn out the greatest results, I still have to give myself a pat on the back for trying. We all need a little encouragement right? That's why this next picture is all I need to remember sometimes.
RIGHT?!?
In an amazing Ensign article in April 2006, entitled, "The Joy of Nurturing Children", there are some great tidbits that I just had to share!
1. "No matter what your situation, you can find joy in nurturing children".
2. Good memories often include nurture from someone.
3. "Teaching moments can become memories at unexpected times."
4. We may not remember every lesson we've ever taught during Family Home Evening, and your children definitely will not. But truths will be taught by the spirit, and testimonies will be strengthened. Even Alma the Younger remembered the teachings from home, likely during a book of mormon times family home evening, that "he also remembered the words of his father “concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world” (Alma 36:17)."
“The spiritual rewards of motherhood are available to all women. Nurturing the young, comforting the frightened, protecting the vulnerable, teaching and giving encouragement need not—and should not—be limited to our own children.”
Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Lessons from Eve,” Ensign, Nov. 1987, 87–88.
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